It cost nothing to show love. Make time for love. Sometimes a “hello” or a smile is enough.
I know people who suffer from cognitive distortion; I am in fact living with one! I live with someone who magnifies things and make situations appear way bigger than they actually are and ascribe way too much significance to things that are minor and of very little significance. Such individuals also do not give themselves that much credit for anything! Rather than dwelling on their gains and successes, they would rather dwell on their failures and amplify such ‘failures’ to the point where they fail to see that much good in them. You know about seeing the glass half empty rather than half full? Well, this boils down to perspectives again. The consequence of this cognitive distortions is that it wrecks havoc on relationships. The person with cognitive distortions becomes unbearable to live with; becomes even more difficult to understand and appears to be someone who is difficult to please even though it might not necessarily be so.
So, I am sharing this beautifully written piece with everyone including people that I know so that they can learn to cope and banish cognitive distortions because they are unhealthy for both the sufferer and their partners.
10 cognitive distortions that make things worse for us.
“I am moody”, “I am sad” These were common remarks I had made in the past to my husband about my circumstance at that time and one question ran constant in all his responses – “What can you do to change things?” Big question I guess but this sincere question was received with annoyance by me in the beginning but as I learnt to make adjustments and make changes, I saw that I was happier and realized that I AM THE CHANGE and not somebody else! Change is not going to come from outside but from within!
So, you can imagine how inspired I was to write this post when I listened to Kirk Franklin’s Wanna be happy over and over again from his Losing my religion album. You should go get it because it has really helped me to change my life and move in the direction that I want for my life.
Here is an excerpt from Wanna be happy:
“I just wanna be happy
But if I keep on doing the things
That keep on bringing me pain
There’s no one else I can blame
If I’m not happy
Wasted time but now I can see
The biggest enemy is me
So I’m not happy…”
These words are so true because for the most time, the enemy of our change and our happiness is usually us! When we find ourselves in a rot, we tend to blame outside forces but just like my husband always says, “what can you do to change the situation?” What can you do differently to make the change that you have always desired and to bring the much sought after happiness that you want? Perhaps you’ve been doing things the same way for so long that now is the time for you to do something differently. We could cry about our situations; we could be despondent and hopeless; we could even be giving up on ourselves. But if we desire true happiness, then we might have to bring about the change ourselves.
Change is an action word and never passive. What this means is that we cannot just sit back, fold our arms and sulk about our situations when we got to get up and move to action. It takes determination to bring about the desired change that we want in our lives and we have to be brave, we have to be courageous and we have to be focused in making things happen for us in our lives. The happiness that we seek is not dependent on another human being and neither will it come from the outside; happiness comes from within us and sometimes for us to attain that happiness, we would have to fight against ourselves to make that happen.
Are you stuck in a rot? Do you wish your life could be at a different point other than what it is now? So, the question is, what can you do about it? Personally, I developed an action plan to get me moving closer into achieving true happiness. I started by creating a checklist of activities that I could do to motivate me into action so I started exercising to give me physical strength and mental stamina; I started reading more and I also searched within myself what my true passions were, my strengths, my shortcomings and what exactly that I needed to do to bring about the change that would give me happiness. Little by little, I started checking off that list and as I took baby steps, I realized that I had a sense of fulfillment as I inched closer into realizing my dream. The journey has not ended though but I have learnt to keep fighting and not to sit still because that is the only way that I can experience true happiness.
Please do share your experiences with us by joining the conversation.
What we feed our mind with can affect our success or failure and I have learnt that if I dwell solely on the negative, I get negative output because the mind is so powerful that our thoughts become our conviction which in turn affects the results that we get. We must feed our minds with positivity if we hope to aspire for success or greater results in life.
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton
Failure is not always negative; it gives one an opportunity to learn from mistakes, to be stronger and even wiser in decision making in our lives and business. Today Monday gives one an opportunity to learn from previous week’s mistakes or failures and grow from them.
Have a great week!
Sometimes I am tempted to quit especially when challenges seem insurmountable. But I do not quit because I must not quit.
Success in business or life is a road laced with failures and setbacks. Sometimes when things are moving at a slow pace for me business wise, I ask myself what I could be doing – no matter how little that could make a difference even though minute it might be. It might be that the business environment needs re-arranging to make doing business more efficient; it may mean me creating a marketing message for my business; it might even mean making those “not so important ” business calls. Little by little, I come out of my gloom and I am motivated much more. Sometimes, I research online about things related to my business to make mine better.
So whatever you are engaged in, never quit because you must not quit.